no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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