It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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