sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
