it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My ass is underappreciated
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
