wanna go halves on a baby?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize