every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
