Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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