he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
