I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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