And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
