Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
