It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
