I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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