quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
its liver damage thursday
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
