Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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