Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
