so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I am mentally ready for anal.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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