im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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