The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
