do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I could fuck to npr.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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