Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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