Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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