Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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