So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
