this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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