his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My dick has a subreddit
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
