She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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