Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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