we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
