Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
