That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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