So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
