Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize