Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
