Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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