I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
