i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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