Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
