so that wasnt chicken after all
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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