yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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