I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize