I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
