we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Did you pee in the oven last night??
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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