and you said cock pushups were impossible
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
