I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
