But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You are the jesus of drinking
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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