i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
