YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
