What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
