That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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