I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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