i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
