Banned from zoo.
Again?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
