Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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